love

I'm learning.  Things are not perfect.  Things don't always run smoothly.  Time isn't always on our side.  I'm ok with that.  I really am.  I'm a foster mom.  I have to be ok with that (or at least try to be).  It's important for kids to spend time with family.  Our two kiddos are the same.  Matching up times and schedules can be a true task when it comes to visitations.  Sometimes it's not the most convenient.  Sometimes it will mess with bedtime routines, but life will carry on.  It's important.  You have to make it work. It's easy for myself to get a little...well...un-excited to shuttle the 40 minute drive there and then back.  Then I stop.  Really?  I have my family with me every day.  EVERY DAY.  I'm blessed to have the people that surround me love me to no end and have done everything possible to make life good.  I'm blessed.  Blessed beyond belief.  I know it's only been a few weeks, but I feel like I have had so many attitude adjustments within that short time.  I feel my hands releasing the tight fists that I've had in my comfortable ride.  I'm letting go.  Little by little, I'm letting go.   I have a lot of lessons to learn.  I can't imagine how many more I will have learned when this journey ends (whatever that looks like).  I have a list of things that I hope that entails...one is spirituality.  Let's face it, when you give something up you feel almost more whole.  When we gave up the space in our house, our comfortable simple life and our freedom, we gave apart of us.  Even though that's gone, we feel like it's been filled with more than what we could have ever imagined.  We feel more of a purpose, like we could make a difference in this huge world.  One child at a time.  I feel like I have no choice but to cling to God more.  To seek wisdom, to ask for patients, to give me peace and understanding.
We are still in the very beginning.  The "honeymoon" stage if you will.  I will enjoy it.  I will enjoy the happiness and the laughter I witness daily.  I know there will be many uphill battles, roller coasters, ups and downs, but I know that love will prevail.  Why?  I know that love wins.  It doesn't fail.  Thank you Jesus!