a change of plans...

This past month has brought a HUGE range of emotions to our family.  Let me start by saying we can't wait to have our family grow.  At the same time we feel a huge burden to all of the kids that aren't able to be with their own mom's and dad's for whatever reason.  We have been licensed foster parents for a few months now.  We have been waiting.  Waiting for a phone call.  Then, out of the blue we had a new opportunity literally almost fall in our laps.  It was a baby.  A new precious, unborn baby.  There's so many stories that lye with this...too many to tell.  After weeks of considering, praying and thinking we decided to start to get paperwork and official meetings started.  As soon as it started...it ended.  We weren't bitter.  Sad, yes, but that's ok.  We were so excited.  However, we understand.  We too are parents.  We witnessed the beautiful creation of a child before our eyes.  We get it.  Now we have a change of plans...and we can't wait!

Our hearts feel so many emotions.  Excitement, anxiousness, scared, determination, terrified, love, hope, and peace.  It isn't what we planned.  It is stretching us out of our comfort zone.  More than what we were already at.  We will be growing as a family.  A lot sooner than what we had thought. With more than we thought.  In a few short days we will be welcoming two new kiddos into our home.  My heart aches for them.  For the many separations that they have faced way too young.  Too much life in too short of time.  I can't wait to welcome them into our home.  To give them a place to seek refuge, rest and growth.  I pray for their parents.  I pray that they will become a better person, as we all need to become more of.  

We have started to plan and prepare.  I don't think we will ever be really ready.  A bunk bed has been set up, kiddo blankets have been picked out and room arrangements changed around.  This will be an adjustment.  We have a 3 year old, and we will be sending two kids off to school for our first time, and they won't be our own.  I'm nervous about the transition.  School starts in a few short days, and we will be welcoming them in our home in just a few short days too.  That's a lot.  That's a lot of change for everyone.  That's a TON of change for them!  Until then, I will continue to run around like crazy and prepare. Organizing our house to fit 5.  5.  Yes, I said 5.  

it's only the beginning

It was quiet time.  Miss B was reading books to herself on the couch across the room, while I was doing some work on the computer.  I checked my email as I usually do, only to delete junk...but noticed one from our case manager. I opened it only to see CONGRATULATIONS on it.  When I read those words my heart leaped. I immediately started to cry.  Ugly cry.  Poor B thought I was hurt and came over and asked "Mommy ok?  Mommy hurt?" I told her that I was happy.  Poor thing probably thought I was loosing it.  

After 6 months of paperwork, meetings, appointments and evaluations WE ARE DONE!  I realize that this is really just the beginning.  We've been setting the stage, a prelude if you will, to a new grand adventure.  My emotions have been wild at times.  I love the 3 of us.  I love just having my "baby."  I love the simplicity that I've come to know with the love that surrounds me everyday.  Then I watch my daughter.  She has such a loving and caring soul.  She is meant to be a sister...whether if it's for forever, or just a few days.  She will be awesome.  

Then there's my husband.  I've never known a man to love as much and as deeply as he does.  He takes time.  He encourages, challenges and brings so much laughter into our home.  Between him and Miss B there is never a dull moment.  They constantly are laughing and playing with each other, and scheming what to do next.  

I don't know if you can ever be fully ready for this next step...but I feel that we are close.  As close as we can be.   

Trying to prepare for a foster child is difficult.  You have no idea what age you might be placed with, gender, background, preferences, routines...nothing.  Although we decided to only take in newborns-4 yrs, that age range is huge as far as levels go.  Thankfully we are pretty set for those ages from Miss B still.  I know when we get our first placement we will be scrambling to come up with last minute things.  It's expected.  We are prepared for that.  

Until that time we wait.  Prepare. Pray.  It breaks my heart to think of the reasons why a child will be placed with us.  It's become even more real these last few days.  I eagerly await a phone call...but am thankful that we haven't received one at the same time.  There will be brokenness.  I will not fully understand, nor will I ever.  We will be there to weep along side, pick up shattered pieces with and [hopefully] find the beauty in life again.  

For now I will enjoy just us.  While we're ready to open our arms, we're not afraid of being patient.  

Until then I will enjoy the fact that I have energy to stay up late folding laundry and browsing brilliant ideas on Pinterest.  I will enjoy sleeping full nights, waking up feeling rested, and knowing that my day will be pretty predictable.  I will enjoy the sound of my snoring husband and funky smells coming from my dog...oh wait.  Scratch that.  She's out of here.  

Until next time...

Grace & Peace

A New Chapter

It's amazing how life can change so quickly.  I am thankful for new opportunities and  for having the support to do just that.   I started a new chapter.  I started a job.  I was so lucky to have been able to stay home for two years with my little girl.  I got a call out of the blue.  I wasn't searching.  Didn't have any plans to start working.  But about one week later I started.  In that time I was able to find B the best care and try to prepare myself as much as possible.  It was hard.  I never could have imagined the emotions.  Ever.  A few of the biggest things for me to think about was 1. having B be around kids her age and learn in a structured environment and 2.  putting her adorable, sweet and beautiful artwork on our fridge. That last one...really got me through a few hard times.  My daughter is resilient.  Smart.  Independent. Stubborn.  She's not afraid of changes.  In fact I think she thrives off them.  She never cried.  never once.  But this mamma did.  A lot.  The first day wasn't as bad as I thought, thankfully.  I enjoy my job, and I love being a mommy.

On a separate note...
My brother was kind enough to take miss B and I out into a park and snap a few (or a lot) of pictures this fall.  I love these photos.  I will cherish them for forever.  I am always disappointed how I am always behind the camera and not in front of it.  I'm trying to change that.  Ladies, snag someone to take pictures of you and your kiddos in a fun outing.  So worth it.  Here's my start.  I'm in love...

She gives the best squeezes

oh those kisses

She's such a big girl...growing so fast.  Everyday.  

This is how most of our pictures taken turn out...B is not a fan.  

This is reality.  haha...

I am so excited for June 6th.  That will be the last day of my job for the summer...then it's me and my girl and...hopefully a new addition. 

Grace & Peace

A Little This...A Little That

After a long absence...a few computers...and a busy life...I'm back. 

This is my sweet dog, Molly.  She has a few passions in life.  Well...two really.  Tennis balls and Stuffed animals.  I found some TY toys at the local dollar store and got a few for my sweet B.  She soon had little interest and in them and then Molly took over.  In this case it was miss piggy.  She took her outside.  To bed.  Well pretty much anywhere she went the piggy was sure to follow.  Our other dog Jazzy has a different approach to stuffed animals.  She sees them as a target to destroy.  To shred. To demolish.  Despite Molly being very protective of her miss piggy, Jazzy soon found her and eyes were torn off, and limbs were dismembered.  So sadly we had to retire her beloved pig. 

This little gem has been a project that my hubby has been working on.  He's been refinishing these old antique Railroad Carts.  I think he's completed 4 now.  Each one of them has held different stories.  True pieces of history.  I loved having it in our living room for a coffee table! However, it is NOT to have with a toddler roaming about.  I love the industrial look...but that will have to be another time.  But didn't he do a great job? Yes, I think so.

My little girl loves books!  She's curious, and loves to learn.  My love of sign language has overflowed on her I think.  She does pretty good with talking for her age, but she's really picked up on signs.  It melts my heart seeing those tiny dimpled hands form those signs.  I remember the first time she signed "milk."  It was so precious.  As a sign language interpreter major in college there's nothing more that could have filled my heart more.  I'm so excited to teach her more and to be able to expose her to the Deaf community and culture. 

I always love it when my nieces are able to come over. Even though this visit was short, it was oh so sweet!  Living a few hours apart I cherish the moments.  I can't believe how big they're all getting.  Each one of them are so unique and perfect.  The youngest of my sisters' just turned one.  I see time pass so quickly with my little one, but I see it even more when I see my nieces. 

 My hubby and I were able to get away for a night to Chicago with some good friends of ours.  I brought my camera but was slightly under the weather and decided to focus on the trip itself and not take a ton of pictures.  This picture is the skyline of Chicago from the Shedd Aquarium.  It was beautiful weather for the "windy city" in March.  I loved the early sneak peak of summer that we had.

 I love that sandles were brought out.  Pant legs rolled up.  Chairs taken out of the garage, dusted off, and placed on the deck.  Ahhh...summer.  80 degrees in March in Michigan.  Yes, please!  And thank you. 

 Playgrounds have become a new passion in our house.  They're wonderful in more ways than one.  They're entertainers, a way to meet little friends, and best of all, they almost guarantee a good night sleep.  For everyone. 

Happy Monday!

A Merry Christmas

Merry (late) Christmas!

After almost 100 pictures (at least!) one finally turned out.  I know it's normal to take a lot of pictures, but I would think...or hope that I could get a few more than just 1 turn out.  I love snapping pictures, but since little B is getting wiser older she's learning how to move at the perfect moment for that blurrrrred affect.  Smarty pants.

Anyways, Merry (late) Christmas!

We were able to spend Christmas morning in a tropical paradise.  Well...close enough.  Florida!  How I loved waking up in the morning, looking out the window at a palm tree.  Yes, a palm tree.  We decided to venture down to Florida to spend Christmas with his Grandparents that reside there in the winter.  My in-laws also came down.  It was such a nice and relaxing time.    We had somy fun adventures, and hours upon hours of relaxing as a family. 

The drive down seemed like it took forever...but 21 hours straight is kind of forever in a car with a 16 month old (even though she did great). 

I think I'd be embaressed to tell you how many graham crackers she ate...how many movies she watched...how many pacifiers we had in the back seat for her...BUT we made it!  And we all still loved eachother by time we arrived. 

Bonus.

Golfing is one of those things for my man.  I think he would eat, sleep, breathe golf if he could. It was the first thing he did as soon as he got out of the car.  Unpacked his golf clubs.  Went out back. Hit them clear over the canal on the other side of the road in the picture. 

Not bad.

 I hope no one is blinded by my our pastiness.  No need for wearing shorts in Michigan at the end of December.  That's besides the point.  I love these HUGE trees! They're found everywhere on Boca Grande. 

 Golf carts are the easiest way to navigate on the island since it's so small.  There's specific roads just for the golf carts that make it really nice and convenient. Little B got to be captain with Daddy since she wasn't a fan of anything the first part of the trip.  Including golf cart rides.  It took about 3 days for her to adjust to everything and be the happy little B she usually is. 

 This is the hotel that we stayed at...and just steps out of our room was a canal off of the ocean.  Which is so beautiful and relaxing and wonderful...however, it is a non stop chasing and holding hands with a toddler who has no interest in those things.  That's a pretty exhausting rest.
 

 We went to bed really early that night, try to recover from the long trip still.  That led to a early wake up.  I mean a early wake up.  Like 4 am early.  I haven't been up at that time (thankfully!) since Little B was a new born.  We decided to go fishing.  We had a baby monitor that reached perfectly and a fishing pole.  I wanted just to sit next to Kaleb and chat.  After he casted out a few times with no success, I thought it would be fun to do the same. I wanted to be cool.  He put the line out and told me to hold it while he went to go get a pole for me.  Sure enough, as soon as he left my line got snagged.  UGH!  Not cool!  Then it started to move...and I got excited.  Kaleb came over to see me and the pole struggling.  He couldn't believe it.  He had spend about 2 hours the night before fishing with not much luck.  I just go in there with a line that was already out for me and hold the pole and I snagged a fish.  Ha!  It still makes me smile.  That is me and my man holding my big catch of the day! 

 Drum roll please...

 These are the first pictures I've posted since I chopped my hair off.  That should be another post in itself.  It's taken a few months of adjustment to it.  But it's been fun.  Something different.  Something unique for me. 

 Ice cream is always a favorite for Baleigh.  She was pretty stoked when Grandma bought her her first ice cream cone.  What a cute mess she was!

 It always nice to see beautiful flowers.  But there's something about seeing them outside at the end of December that brings real joy.  You really makes you stop and enjoy them all. 

 On Christmas day we saw this manger scene that you could walk around.  Baleigh was so interested in all the animals...and the baby.  She loves babies.  She loved baby Jesus. 

 We spent lots of time at the beach.  We were able to stay at a house right on the ocean with family.  It. Was. Amazing.   Nothing better than walking out to that white warm sand to that beautiful water whenever you wanted to.  The waves crashing at night was the most perfect noise to drift to sleep by.  Oh, and I love the few curls that Baleigh had with the humidity.  Perfect. 

 

We loved shelling in the early morning.  Finding all of those treasures the ocean left behind was so much fun.  I have a few crafts that I want to tackle with some of the shells that we found. My favorite shells were the coquina shells.  The have such amazing colors and designs on them.

We woke up Christmas day in Florida.  We did it before.  I swore I would never do it again with kids.  But there we were.  No snow.  80 degrees.  We had a wonderful time together.  With family.  Our family.  We went to the beach after a big Christmas Luncheon at the Grandparents church.  We hiked for a few miles on the beach.  It was so beautiful.  And that sunset made the trip worth it.  God has such wonderful things for us to enjoy.  I'm so thankful for that. 

I love my family.  I love our time that we're able to spend together just enjoying life.

I love my nieces.  That's a good thing too.  Why you ask?  Becuase I have nine of them.  Nine beautiful nieces.  Here are a few pictures I took of a few of those beautiful girls right before Christmas...